Last night in Boston Harbor after officials in Boston refused to return three shiploads of taxed tea to Britain, a group of colonists boarded the ships confiscated the tea in an unlawful manner and destroyed the shipment by throwing it overboard into the harbor waters. There are eye witness accounts that some of the perpetrators were most dishonorable, disguising themselves as noble native Americans from the local Mohawk community college. I believe this is what the governor's wife, Francine Pelosi calls "astro-turfing" but we are still waiting for clarification on this verbiage, our research department as yet being unable to locate these words in any of the more commonly used reference texts.
British Parlement and the media office of the British East India Company could not be reached for comment at the time of this printing so let your humble reporter and editor in chief, K. Olberman Esq., take it upon himself to say what must be said about the coarsening of this debate on taxes and the descent into random and meaningless acts of hooliganism by petty vandals.
Sometimes when I am at the local public houses near Harvard I hear some patrons suggesting that similar acts of defiance have been a matter of righteous indignation. I hear the same tired rhetoric about taxation without representation, about how the local governors are bowing to the Crown's agenda and not representing the will of the people. To all that traitorous dialogue I see 'go hang.'
If you allow yourself to be drawn further into this baseless and reasonless debate you will even hear claims of trade protectionism intent on creating a British monopoly on tea. Of course these claims are often made with a thick Dutch accent but this only serves to emphasize the minority nature of this lowly mob that cannot for a moment be taken seriously. Oh, how this makes me yearn for the more intellectual discourse back in my beloved Ithica. This Boston rabble could take a lesson or two from my townsmen.
Before you know it these so called, Sons of Liberty will be casting eggs at the carriages of his Majesty's officials and perhaps even papering the trees in front of the Governor's house. Then what becomes of civility?"
Then what, indeed, Mr. Olberman.
Today's Tea Party has it's roots in the gathering led by Samual Adams that historic night in 1773. And just like those patriots, working hard, putting health and welfare at risk to make a better life for their