Sunday, July 26, 2009


Winnipeg Telegraph
Winnipeg, Manitoba - Canadians from the Yukon and British Columbia to Newfoundland and the Labrador Coast are ready to charge en masse to form a Million Canuck March on Washington District of Columbia, U.S. They are feeling the need to preserve their way of life, namely, the ability to come to the United States to obtain urgent, life saving health care when needed.

In our informal Rasberry Poll 82% of Canadians responded favorably when asked if they liked their current health care system. Many respondents were found to say, "I like not having to pay for it here in Canada when I am not really using it anyway." The remaining 18% were broken up pretty evenly between those who would be more satisfied if they could get access to their "free" care, those who live too far from hospitals and tend to treat most ailments with whiskey and a sharp object of some sort and the rest who have given up hope ever seeing a doctor again in their natural lives. All respondents currently living their final days in hospice were not counted in this poll, not because their opinion does not count, only because it was unlikely they would live long enough to read this article.

Asked what they would do aboot health care if they had an urgent need for a life saving procedure or medication, an almost universal 98% including many Canadian doctors and nurses responded, "I will come to the U.S. eh?" Half of those indicating they'd come to avoid the long wait to get access to care in Canada and the other half stating they'd come to the U.S. because they were fairly certain they'd be denied much needed care after the long wait anyway.

This reporter caught up with Saskatoon native, Roy LeBlanc under the camper shell of his pickup truck stuffing in supplies for what appeared to be a long stay in his deer blind. Roy corrected us, saying the packing list was for his march on Washington, D.C. "I have a history of cancer in my family, eh? So I am relying on health care from our neighbors to da south when I need it." Asked how long he would stay to protest the Obama Health Care reform bill, "as long as it takes . . . logging season is over and hey, while I am der I might catch a hockey game or two. All our best hockey players moved der years ago because da health care was better, don't ya know?"

In a related story conjouned / siamese twins from around the world are running to the United States as fast as their unique birth defects will allow them to run in hopes that they can get the life changing surgeries unavailable in their own countries before it is too late.

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