Thursday, August 28, 2008

Madonna, All Of Your Relevance Called and It Wants to Move Back to the 80's

So it's that time again. When Hollywood stops making poorly crafted, preachy movies with heavy handed political propaganda and summers with the quasi-celebs in the national political circles. They are all hanging out at the Convention Party and unavoidably the sophomore geeks of the national media are trying to stand close enough to the cool older kids in hopes that nobody notices they are socially inept.
And so then the microphones start flying in front of the faces of all the wrong people like the business end of a Chippendale dancer dangling in front of your mom at your fiancée's bachelorrete party.
In essence this leads to people who's lyrics are written for them, who's lines are scripted for them and further more their performance directed and redirected, now they have to shake something loose from their otherwise vacant heads. What they say is a) something that makes rational people scratch their heads and wonder why they enjoyed performances by such an addle-brained idiot, b) because it doesn't take into account that most of us don't lunch at The Ivy or Koi and write it off as a business expense before having it out with our pool boy, illegal-alien maid, __(insert other household staff of wealthy glitterati here)__, and that's because c) our lives are so utterly and completely different that I'd be better off asking the Russian military to be my ambassador and spokesperson to my U.S. Government Representatives.
Is that stretching it a bit?
Not as much as Madonna labeling John McCain the worst Nazi in world history.
WTF?!? Madonna, why don't you get your sagging ass back in the studio to record another crappy album, or try and fail to shock us by kissing skanky, trailer trash pop stars at music awards or adopt a kid from Darfur or something that you think you still do well while I am sitting here wondering how I am going to pay the bill on my gas card?
Speaking to America about what we should think about the candidates is not that thing that made you famous. It's not something you do well. Stop doing it.

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